ROOT ISSUES ENDS WITH ME!

"Stay away from pornography woman of God!

No Wid, don't dwell on that thought! Don't answer that text message because it will open doors that are not meant to be open." These were some of the actual words I’ve spoken repeatedly over myself when the thoughts penetrated through my mind and many times, if I could be honest, yo girl over here, repeated the same cycles rather than ending them. 

"Pornography, lust, perversion in the mind of a believer is a toxic playground that the enemy dwells in because we give him glory every
 time we choose it (our sinful nature) over God."
-Wid

Given that pornography is rampant in the world today, I honestly believe that there are many christian men and women (we don’t always hear about the women) who struggle greatly in the area of porn behind closed doors. I, Widny Lherisson, struggled with this area for years before giving my life to Christ and it became a crutch after, as I embarked on a journey of living for Jesus. Many times, being exposed to certain things at an early age without the knowledge and understanding of the potential danger it can cause as you get older, becomes a fight to surrender what feels and looks good to our flesh and overall, it just being a temperament void filler that leaves you empty and feeling worthless.  

I remember many times asking myself, “Widny, how bad do you want to break free?” And the reason I believe I’d ask myself this question time and time again is because deep down in my heart I didn’t want to live like this. I honestly didn’t want to live my life portraying that I was good, and yet, there was a part of me that was bound that no one else but God could see unless I shared it with certain people. When I felt lonely and boredom strike an unoccupied mind, pornography was there to appease a high that only left me low and feeling disgusted afterwards. I found myself in a place of constantly asking, “God, I want to live pure, but I don’t know how... How do I let go of something that I’ve always turned to since at a very young age and not retuned to it ever again?”

Soul Surgery

I’ve learned that many of the vices we may have struggled with, or are still battling with behind closed doors stems from root issues that our parents dealt with and didn’t overcome. So, yeah, because our parents, grandparents and even great grandparents didn't subdue, so now its been past down the bloodline, generations after generations. And I do believe this is the enemy’s number one tactic that many of us, including myself, have been imprisoned by, and that is to believe the lie and illusion it is not feasible to break free from soul ties, pornography, perversion, anger...etc. (Name your addiction) because if he can get you to believe you can’t break the cycles, chances are you’ll believe that you can’t and then forfeit becoming the women God wants you to be. When I allowed this revelation to sink in, and I mean, to really allow my soul to taste the sweetness of this truth to where it resonated with my mind, will and emotions, had help me to get my heart right, to get my mind right, and  made a decision that not only helped me to break pornography for good, but it was the reality of, if I don’t kill pornography NOW, my future children will have to fight a battle that I should’ve killed years ago. 

Breaking cycles and generational curse ends with me.

We have to face the truth and the root issues because what we don’t deal with NOW, our seed, or whatever else is connected to us will be affected by it. Here are a few things I’ve applied and help me tremendously in many ways: 

1.      Make a decision. We sometimes complicate things by not choosing to make a decision and sticking to it. Be the one to end the cycle in your bloodline. And with that decision comes with responsibilities:
2.      Repentance and prayer. Be real with God; confess it. And turn from it. Turning away from someone or something is honestly a process and your detachment will break everything in you and even around you that was built from its foundation. But it begins with YOU making a decision and allowing God to step in and rebuild on HIS foundation. Learn to war in prayer and not with yourself or people or a person. Because ultimately it puts you in a place of fighting in your own strength and not putting on the full armor against the real enemy.  
3.      Need accountability. Listen, you only need about 1-2 people that you can trust and will keep it real and always revert you back to God’s truth. You need people that are going to remind you, “Friend, there’s more for you! Sis, leave it alone this isn’t your character…etc.” Because when you’re dealing with a hidden sin, guess what? You’re going to want to keep it a secret for as long as you can. Trust me, I did it and it kept me there longer than I shouldn’t have.
4.      Be real with yourself. Look, if you’re serious about breaking cycles, stop entertaining foolishness that pulls you back to a place you’ll want to one day testify of overcoming it. Too many people connected to you are counting on you to get it right and BREAK. Leave him or her alone, they’ll be just fine without you. Turn down the invite to places you know don’t benefit where you’re trying to go mentally and spiritually. 

Side Note: I started writing this post about two years ago, and it has been sitting in my draft until now. I didn’t finish writing it because I was still portraying living a bondage free life and yet battling while the curtains were closed. This is what happens when you don’t deal with (name your addiction) and overcome. The very thing you struggle with the enemy will use to silence your voice, steal your joy and peace of mind.

Thank you for reading!